Getting Older Ain't Fun ...

No, it's not my birthday.  Through the process of training for the half marathon that my mister and I are running together this coming Sunday, I've been thinking a lot about accomplishments and self image.  Now, you would THINK, running 4 to 5 miles once a week and 8 to 10 another day of the week would have you TEENY TINY.  Seriously.  Wouldn't you?  I have had so many people say "Well when you start training for the half, you won't even have to WORRY about what you eat, it will just fall off."  No.  Not so.  Because I do worry about what I eat (what girl doesn't) and I have been running my little patootie off and let me tell you, it would be nice if it was actually FALLING off.  Don't get me wrong, I've maybe lost 6 to 8 lbs total since I started the training (3 months ago) ... but that is far from where I want to be.  And I'm impatient. (Patience is a virtue.  I know.  Working on it.)  At least that was the way I thought before.  Make no mistake, I would still like to be at that "magic number" that I have in my head, but I've come to the realization that I probably won't ever, nor do I have to ...

... again.  I could do it, and goodness knows I want to look like that in a bikini again, but it would not be healthy or, truthfully, fun.  Because when I looked like her, I was doing no carbs and straight protein WHICH = no energy.  Plus, that was 5 years ago and let's face it ladies, it doesn't get easier as the years pass by.  What ultimately matters is, people don't love me any less or anymore because I am a size 0 or a size {blank} (like I'm going to tell the world)  That girl in the picture, although the same girl at heart, is really a different girl that I am proud to have come from, but even more proud to what I have come to.  I have come to realize that what matters is that I see the way my Heavenly Father looks at me, which is covered in the blood of His Son, pure and blameless, spotless and white as snow.  No one and nothing else matters.  The Lord loves us, SO much, as to give us His Son to save us.  To save us from a world of sin and lifetime of seperation from Him.  He doesn't care if I'm 10 lbs underweight, or 10 lbs overweight (not to say He doesn't care about our health), He cares about the condition of our heart and I am slowly but surely coming to realize that I can work out, eat right and do all the right things physically, but if I'm not conditioning my heart spiritually, it's not growing or getting in any better shape no matter what "shape" my body is in.  All that is to say, it brings my heart great joy to know that HE loves ...

 

... just as much as He does the other girl in those pictures up there.  So be encouraged ladies, don't spend your life thinking "if I could JUST get back there" or "well at least I USED to be skinny (pretty, smart, funny, insert whatever thing you use to belittle yourself)" but focus on the things you are and strive for the things HE wants us to be.  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."  Galatians 5:22-23.  How can you not be beautiful bearing those fruits?  One things for sure, it is pleasing to the Lord's eyes, and there is no other eyes we should worry about pleasing above His.